


hair-trigger & shaky hands

by orphan_account



Category: Mass Effect: Andromeda
Genre: F/F, gruff/moody female companion, i had an idea and ran with it idk, i have a compelling need to add ocs to everything, sara's rlly gay
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-29
Updated: 2017-04-20
Packaged: 2018-10-12 10:43:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,379
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10489071
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Cora glanced at Sara as she walked up, and then frowned. “Why do I get the feeling you just did something I’m not going to like?”Sara gave her second-in-command an apologetic smile. “’Cause I just did something you probably won’t like?”//(In which Sara agrees to take on a new companion at the Nexus as team heads out to Eos.)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Sara's thoughts are italics, SAM's voice is when he's speaking privately to Sara (otherwise he'll just speak normally, y'know, quote marks).
> 
> I uhh... got an idea, and then it grew, and then I started writing?

* * *

 

When she’d taken her first gasps of air after her 600 year nap, she’d been Sara Ryder: science nerd, recon specialist, part of her father’s team. Now, in a dizzyingly short amount of time later, she was Sara Ryder: Pathfinder to the human ark.

 

(Her first words, upon hearing the news in SAM Node, were “You’ve got to be kidding me” - and honestly, the sentiment still held. What the hell kind of curveball her father had thrown from beyond the grave.)

 

Talking to the leaders on the Nexus was almost surreal. Without a doubt, they all saw her as woefully inexperienced. Tann thought she was a rookie pawn that he could control (or, how had he said it - he wanted to be “her patron,” geez). Kesh was blunt enough to acknowledge that Sara was green, but she was hopeful that Sara’s passion would accomplish something where bureaucracy had lacked. And Addison was a hardass. Not that Sara blamed her, really, but…yikes. The woman had straight up told her she didn’t trust Sara, tried to needle her (pretty successfully), and ended the conversation with a challenge for the new Pathfinder to prove herself.

 

Well. It was a conversation Sara was glad to be walking away from.

 

“She was an ass,” Cora said on the tram ride over to the docking bay.

 

Sara appreciated Cora taking her side, especially given that things between them had been awkward since Sara had become Pathfinder, a title that would’ve been so rightfully Cora’s.

 

“On the one hand, yeah, pretty much,” Sara agreed with a small smile. “On the other, though… I’m not my father. I’m not the Pathfinder the Nexus thought they were getting, or the one they need.” Sara swallowed, a lump having formed in her throat, one that sunk like a stone to her stomach.

 

(She couldn’t shake the thought, which had snuck up on her a handful of times in these few short hours, that it probably would’ve been better for everyone if her father had never given her his helmet. If he were the Ryder left standing.)

 

“Hey.” Cora’s voice, gentle but firm, broke through Sara’s thoughts. Cora was watching her, and Sara could tell her lieutenant knew exactly what she’d been thinking. “You will be. You…may not be your father, but you’re a Ryder. You’ll make a great Pathfinder.” There was something rough about Cora’s words, like they were salt she was rubbing in her own wound of being passed over. Cora pressed on. “And, whatever happens, I’ll have your back. For what it’s worth.”

 

Sara grinned crookedly, feeling the telltale prick of tears threatening to well in her eyes. She blinked them back before she looked up and met Cora’s gaze. “It’s worth a lot, Cora. Thanks.”

 

Cora nodded. Sara was glad the other woman didn’t comment on her watery eyes - Sara usually wasn’t one to cry so - well, quite so easily. Even though she knew it was due to the emotional whirlwind of the past few hours, it was still embarrassing. After all, her father had been Cora’s mentor and by all accounts the two of them had a closer relationship, and yet Cora wasn’t on the brink of tears.

 

The tram slowed to a stop, the doors sliding open. Sara mustered up her game face, feeling excitement trickle through her veins as she stepped out. “Time to check out our ride.”

 

There weren’t many people on the docking bay, which, considering the state of the Nexus, Sara could understand. Even so, when they’re halfway to the lookout area and she could just make out the top of what was probably their ship, someone called out to them.

 

“Pathfinder.” A woman’s voice, curt. Sara resisted the urge to sigh. __This close,__  she thought wistfully, before stopping and turning around to face someone who was hopefully a friendly well-wisher.

 

Whoever she was, she was __toned__ , which was probably an incredibly shallow thing for Sara to notice first, but there it was. The second thing she noticed was that the woman didn’t seem too much older than Sara herself, with youthful, vibrant green eyes, a narrow jaw, and a splay of freckles across pale cheeks. Her mouth pressed in a narrow line that wasn’t exactly a frown, but sure as hell wasn’t a smile either. And last, but what probably should’ve been first, was her hair, which hung down nearly to her shoulders and had a slight wave to it, was dark blue.

 

As the woman approached, Cora shot Sara a look before continuing on, giving them space.

 

A familiar, dry voice sounded in her mind. < ** _ ** _Lt. Harper is exhibiting traits indicative of exasperation, Ryder_**_** _ _. >__

__

__Right, SAM. Did not really need help on that one._ _

__

__<_ _ **_**_You are exhibiting signs of--_ ** _ ** __>_ _

__

__Okaay, SAM, good talking with you, bye!_ _

__

Sara could swear she heard SAM huff, but put it out of her mind, the woman having caught up to her.

 

“Avery Dawson.” She had the faintest of Southern accents, and spoke low, serious. She offered her hand, and Sara shook it firmly, trying to convey with the action that __You may be a few inches taller than me and hella buffer and look vaguely scary, but I am kinda sorta tough too__. Since absolutely nothing changed in Dawson’s expression, she wasn’t sure the message translated.

 

“Sara Ryder,” she introduced. “Pathfinder. Uh, but you…knew that.” Sara cringed at her own awkwardness. __Shit.__

 

“Never hurts to be sure.” If that was a joke, it was the most deadpan delivery Sara had ever heard, and Dawson didn’t dwell on it. “I hear you’re going to Eos.”

 

Sara’s brows rose, unaware that that had been common knowledge. “Was their an announcement I didn’t hear, or…?”

 

Dawson was definitely frowning now, and she shifted from foot to foot, but her eyes never left Sara’s. “I want to go with you.”

 

__That__ set off about a dozen questions in Sara’s head. She brought up her hands in a __whoa, wait__  gesture. Instead of asking ‘How the hell do you know I’m going to Eos’ or ‘Who the hell are you’ or something otherwise logical, Sara asked simply, “Why?”

 

Dawson seemed thrown for a moment, as if she’d been expecting a straight refusal. She hesitated, then looking down at the ground, she replied, “Because I was one of the ones to drop off the colonists on Eos, before. And then…” her voice, never soft to begin with, hardened further, “I was the one to evac those who were left, those few who survived. I’ve been to Eos, Pathfinder.”

 

Sara felt a surge of sympathy well in her chest. She couldn’t imagine what it must have been like, on the Nexus all these dire, hopeless months. To try to put forth a colony, the dream of the Initiative, only to later have to round up the shards. It was brutal, crushing.

 

Sara wasn’t exactly sure how to say ‘That wasn’t an answer’ without sounding like an insensitive ass, but luckily Dawson continued. “After the evac, the Initiative didn’t send anyone to investigate the sites. Besides the word of a few shaken up scientists, we don’t know much about what happened. And if the brass knows, they’re damn tight-lipped about it.” Dawson clenched her jaw, and her eyes cut up to Sara’s. “Please, Pathfinder, I - we need to know.” That seemed to be as close to pleading as Dawson was willing to go, because she stiffened her shoulders, adding curtly, “And as I mentioned, I’ve been to Eos before. I’ll be useful to your team.”

 

Sara considered it. If Dawson’s information was correct, it would paint the Nexus leadership in a troubling light. Sure, Sara could understand wanting to be cautious, not wanting to return to a hostile planet, but- if there’d still been people there, or a way to trace the source of the attack… It seemed callous, if pragmatic. But there was no point in getting fired up until she could investigate for herself.

 

And there was something to be said for a fresh take on the situation of the leadership, as well as someone who’d actually set their boots on the ground of the deathtrap planet they were heading to. What was the worst that could happen?

 

“This is going to piss off Addison, isn’t it?” It was probably a rhetorical question - everything seemed like it had the potential for pissing off the Director of Colonial Affairs.

 

“Without a doubt.” Dawson looked like she was desperately trying not to get her hopes up, eyes shining, shifting slightly on her feet. It was almost a painful sight, so Sara cut to the chase.

 

“I’m sold. Welcome aboard, Dawson.”

 

Dawson smiled, small, but it was enough to change he entire persona for a second. “Thank you, Pathfinder.”

 

Sara’s heart did __not__  skip a beat, and if it did, it could easily be explained by exhaustion and the strange-ass day she was enduring. She waved a hand. “Taking off in…uh, soon.”

 

Dawson nodded, lips still quirked up. “Understood. I’ll meet you on your ship in…soon.” And that, Sara was mostly sure, was a joke (well, maybe 50-50 sure). But Dawson was already walking away, so Sara took that as her cue to take her exit as well.

 

She made her way to the railing overlooking the docking bay, where Cora was standing. Cora glanced at her as she came up, and then frowned.

 

“Why do I get the feeling you just did something I’m not going to like?”

 

Sara gave her second-in-command an apologetic smile. “’Cause I just did something you probably won’t like?”

 

Cora sighed. “Come on. Let’s go see our ship.”


	2. Chapter 2

The Tempest was… amazing. Which was probably the lamest descriptor ever, but Sara was 1) running on fumes and 2) actually mind-blown. Like,  _ kapow, _ what-are-words mind-blown. The ship was outfitted with state-of-the-art tech in a sleek and functional build, tailored to a pathfinder’s unique needs - was what an Initiative brochure might say.

In short, it was badass.

And the same was true of the crew, all of whom Sara made a point to introduce herself to as she made her first round around. Kallo seemed like a more than capable pilot who had a deep pride in the ship. Suvi was a fellow science nerd who Sara couldn’t wait to talk shop with as they discovered the secrets of Andromeda. Gil - how had he put it? - was the “king of the riff raff,” and a casual sense of humor Sara definitely appreciated. And Vetra, well. She was about 7 different kinds of impressive, as her smooth talking in getting the Tempest off the dock had suggested.

Cora, Liam, and Lexi were equally as starry eyed with the ship (and, Sara assumed, their budding mission to unlock Andromeda for the Initiative) as she was. Liam had smuggled a couch aboard, because of course he had, and Lexi had set up shop in the medbay (promptly sticking Sara with a needle when she stopped by to say hello, which Sara knew came with the territory but still, ouch). Cora…oof. Sara had known to expect some tension, seeing as Cora had been second in line to be Pathfinder - should be Pathfinder, had trained years for this very situation, only to be booted aside in favor of a rookie. Hell, Sara was mad for her. But, as in the rest of his life, what her father had dictated in his dying moments was to be obeyed, without question. Cora had acknowledged that, in the end, and then shifted topic.

****

“Your...addition to the roster is down in the crew quarters,” she said, a wrinkle forming between her brow. She studied Sara for a moment, then asked as neutrally as was possible for the huntress, “I’ll assume you know what you’re doing.”

****

Sara shrugged. Did she know what she was doing? Hell no. But that’s what made it fun, right? “Suuuure,” she drawled with a crooked smile, secretly enjoying the sigh that it elicited from Cora. When the blonde opened her mouth no doubt to give a lecture, Sara continued. “Dawson has been to Eos before, relaying would-be colonists. Her input should be useful.”

****

Cora nodded, though her mouth was still pressed in a fine line. “It’s your call.”

****

It was. And there was the rub. It was all her call, as Pathfinder, not Cora’s. Sara could understand this would take time for Cora to - not accept, Cora was professional and had accepted the snub already - not be hurt by, maybe. Sara just hoped it wouldn’t sour their whole relationship. 

****

“I should probably check on her.” Sara made a vague hand wave toward the door. She hesitated, wanting to say something more, something to smooth things over. “It was good talking with you, Cora.” 

****

Cora’s expression softened, slightly. “I’ll be here, if you want to talk again.”

****

Relieved, Sara left the bio lab and headed for the lift in the cargo bay and walked over to the crew quarters. 

****

The door hissed quietly open, and Sara cast a look around the room. As with the rest of the ship, it was sleek and efficient. A small sitting area fitted with plush chairs and a bookshelf was immediately to her left.  The crew’s beds were built into the wall to save space. A communal bulletin board was displayed on a computer screen opposite the door, and Sara saw that the crew had already posted messages to it, which bode well for team-building.

****

Dawson was at the other end of the room, seated at a bar-style table. She had her elbows on the table, leaning with her chin on her hand over...a notebook? Sure enough, as Sara neared, she could tell the other woman was scribbling something into an actual paper notebook. Wow, talk about blast from the past.

****

Considering she hadn’t looked up, Sara figured she’d better announce herself. “Pen and paper, huh? Don’t see that much anymore.”

****

Dawson quickly snapped the notebook shut (which was...curious). She swiveled the chair towards Sara, glancing up to meet her eyes with her own green ones. Her face was as stoic as it had been on the Nexus. 

****

“Pathfinder,” Dawson greeted, the word sounding like a verbal salute. It reminded Sara of how people had spoken to her father, which… didn’t sit well with her, for several reasons, almost all of them painful.

****

“Ryder is fine,” Sara insisted, crossing her arms loosely over her chest and leaning against the bunk behind her. Her gaze flicked to the notebook and then back to Dawson. “Tell me I’m not interrupting the writing of Andromeda’s first great novel?”

****

_ Lame.  _ Sara almost cringed at herself, except that would be even worse.

****

Dawson let out a dry laugh, with the barest hint of a smile. (Well. Maybe not so lame after all.) “You’re not.”

****

And that was it. Sara waited for her to say more, waited until the silence bordered on awkward. She drummed her fingers on her arms until she couldn’t take it anymore, and cleared her throat lightly. “You uh, don’t say much, do you, Dawson?” 

****

The other woman looked down at her feet, the line of her shoulders rigid. “What I say tends to piss people off.” Dawson grimaced, jaw tightening. “Director Addison especially. Then again, anything other than ‘Yes ma'am’ pisses her off.” Dawson let out a huff, slumping down into the chair a fraction. “Director Tann is worse by a mile. You learn quick to hold your tongue.”

****

Sara chuckled, and Dawson’s eyes flicked back up to her. Yeah, Sara could see where those kind of comments might not fly with the Directors. “Well then, consider this a vacation from Nexus politics.”

****

Dawson raised a brow. “Eos: scorching sun, a shit-ton of sand, and murderous kett.” She smirked, nose crinkling slightly, a glint in her eyes that Sara pegged as thrill-seeking. The sight stirred a flutter in Sara’s chest. “Fun.”

****

“Gonna go out on a limb here and guess you’re not the person in charge of writing the travel brochures,” Sara joked, though knowing some of the colonists the Initiative had attracted, that tagline might get a few takers. “What do you do?” That probably should’ve been a question asked and answered before inviting a stranger aboard, but hey. Nothing ventured, or something.

****

“I’m assigned to Colonial Affairs, as outpost security and a liaison - for the science team, mostly. Like I said before, I brought colonists to Eos, and back, when shit hit the fan.” Dawson sighed, looking away. “Now though, there’s...not much to do on that front. Maybe with a Pathfinder, that’ll change.”

****

Feeling the mood in the room starting to sour, Sara redirected the topic. She waved a hand. “So that’s work. What about you?”

****

Dawson shrugged. “What about me?” It didn’t seem a hostile retort, though it wasn’t exactly bubbly and inviting, either. Sara wondered fleetingly if this was the way she spoke to the Nexus directors.

****

Sara fished around for something to follow up with. “Well...why did you come to Andromeda?” Standard. Classic. A bit trite, maybe. Oh well.

****

“I needed a fresh start.” Once again, Sara waited for more, and this time Dawson picked up on it. “That’s it.”

****

Sara heaved an internal sigh. She could empathize, though - there were some things that, even after 600 years, were still sore subjects. The types of things that drive someone to a whole nother galaxy. “I get that, needing a fresh start. After my dad…” A lump formed in Sara’s throat, and she pushed through it. “After he was ostracized for creating SAM, the Ryder family name was a one-way ticket to dead-end career aspirations. Andromeda was a shot in the dark, but it was one more shot than I had in the Milky Way.” Sara wasn’t sure whether the creeping hurt was from talking about her father, or about what had happened, the failed dreams of the past. Both, she guessed. They were interconnected, anyhow.

****

Dawson studied Sara, running a hand through her hair (which upon closer inspection, Sara could see had errant streaks of dark brown where the color was fading). She frowned. “Ryder…” (Sara did not do anything approximating swooning at hearing the way the other woman spoke her name.) “Fu- forget those assholes. They’re all dead, anyway. And you’re a Pathfinder.”

****

Sara snorted. “Thanks? That was...uh, sweet.” Sort of? In an odd and vaguely morbid way, but she was still kind of touched. Since Dawson seemed to be softening, Sara pushed her luck. “You’ve got a silver tongue. I like it.”

****

Dawson rolled her eyes, though her lips curved in a small, self-conscious smile. It was pretty adorable, considering. “You’d be one of the few.”

****

“Yeah, well. I’ve got good taste,” Sara said with the most self-assured grin she could muster while attempting to flirt (which she was Not Good At - thank god Scott wasn’t around to tease her [though if his teasing was the price she had to pay to have him here instead of in a damn coma, she’d pay it tenfold]).

****

Dawson looked away and made a show of standing up, though Sara was pretty sure she spotted a faint blush peeking out beneath the other woman’s freckles. (Score.) “We’ll see about that.” She studied Sara for a moment, green eyes unreadable, before turning away to pick up her notebook. “I’m going to give your pilot some of navpoints for areas of interest on Eos.”

****

“Right, of course.”  _ Good talk, _ Sara thought. She straightened, watching as Dawson walked over to the door and then hesitated in the doorway.

****

“Ryder…” She glanced over her shoulder. “Thank you, for bringing me on board. It…”  _ It means a lot  _ hangs in the air, despite Dawson being unable to say it. Sara heard it loud and clear, seeing as she was versed in grief, in losing people. And she could sympathize with the need for closure, for answers.

****

Sara nodded, a nonverbal sign that yeah, she understood, and Dawson’s shoulders relaxed a fraction. “Here’s hoping our luck is better this time around.” Though from what she’d gathered, Eos was not a planet to be taken lightly.

****  
Dawson raised a brow, locking eyes with Sara, and gave her the faintest of smirks. “Who needs luck when we’ve got a Pathfinder?”   


* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter was hard for me to write for some reason, idk. 
> 
> Anyway, I uh...have a lot of ideas for this character. Backstory, profile, squad interactions/friendships, loyalty missions, who she'd romance if not Ryder (Lexi), etc. Damn OCs.


End file.
